Not your normal Advent reflection

I'm posting the Advent Week 4 picture because we're just about there.  I haven't followed through as I intended with any of my Advent commitments, and I'm not going to spend a lot of time commenting on that.  There have been a few moments of grace this season, and I'm so thankful for that.  But the season has also been very difficult: for people in our country, for some people around me, and for me personally.

We all know about the tragedy in Newtown, CT.  No description is necessary to explain that there is pain surrounding the tragic and senseless taking of life.  In fact, I would say no description could do justice to what those in Newtown and those connected to Newtown are experiencing.

My extended family has experienced the unexpected loss of a much-too-young beloved life, and one who is like family to me has experienced losing someone who has lived a long and beautiful life.  While age and circumstance may sometimes affect the level of surprise one has when losing a loved one, age and circumstance don't dictate how loved a person is and how much that person will be missed.  My heart aches so much when people I love are hurt.

Last night was the beginning of my Christmas "vacation" from work, and it should have been fun and relaxing.  It was horrible.  The friends I mentioned in my Advent Week 1 post, the ones to whom I sent the Christmas card and invitation to talk over what had come between us, none of them have responded to me.  I had my annual Christmas party, and I couldn't invite them because they didn't want to talk to me.  They used to be the first on the list.  On two separate occasions, I encountered one of them.  (Two different people on two different occasions.)  Last night was the second of those occasions.  Suffice it to say, the silent rejection was made more than clear last night, and the evening ended with tears in the car and a truly crappy beginning to what is supposed to be days of joyous celebration.

Sometimes those four little candles on the Advent wreath seem to mock the idea of hope rather than instill hope.  In so much darkness, whether in the world or in my own little corner of it, how much darkness can those little candles light?  And while the Light may have come into the world on Christmas, can the celebration of that day really dispel darkness in the world? in my world?

I'm sure that when Jesus was born, there was disappointment and even some despair when the angels and the magi went away and the world appeared to go to back to normal, a normal that was oppressive to so many people.  I bet that the world seemed very dark to people at times, even though Jesus was a little child growing up into a man who wasn't just man but was God, and this God-man would change the world and eternity.

Jesus didn't make the world perfect, and he didn't take away pain and suffering in this life.  He couldn't because that would take away our humanity.  He never wanted it to be this way, but the choice in the Garden change everything.  Jesus has lived through pain and suffering himself and stays with us during times in our lives when we endure it.

When Jesus fulfilled the promises of the prophets, he did so in ways that no one imagined.  Sometimes that hurt or angered people who refused to participate unless Jesus did things on their terms.  And probably learning that life isn't really about getting what we want is one the most important things that we can learn.

I can't bring any of the Newtown victims or my family's loved ones back to life.  I can't trade places with any of them.  I cannot make my former friends want to give and to seek forgiveness, healing, or peace, or even make them recognize that they have been wrong, too.  There is nothing I can do to make my hurt disappear.

The Christmas season (which, in the "real" world) starts sometime around Thanksgiving, is very difficult for people who mourn the loss of a loved one, struggle with depression, are lonely, or have so many other "hidden" hurts, injuries, and sorrows.  The constant barrage of images, movies, and scenes of the "perfect" Christmas highlight what is missing and sometimes makes a hurting person feel alienated and more alone.  It can highlight the darkness in one's own life.

And so those four little candles, and then the light of Christ whose birth we prepare to celebrate, well, I have to let them remind me that there is someone who is with me, with my family, with the world when times are unbearable.  He is bigger than the unbearable, and he can bear it for us and with us.  And some day, every tear will be wiped away.  That is the ultimate hope to cling to as we draw near to Christmas.

Advent 2012: Week 1

Going into Advent, I was REALLY certain I was going to be able to dedicate myself to preparing for Christmas like I've never prepared before.  I was committed.  I was going to set aside so much time for God he was going to get bored with me.  It all sounded so good and I really thought that yes, this year, I'd be ready to celebrate the Incarnation and the Second Coming on December 25th.

I literally didn't make it through Sunday Week 1.

This year, children/youth in our faith formation and school programs at Saint Ambrose have received a weekly journal to help them focus on the "People of Faith" from each of the Sunday Gospels.  Week 1 focuses on the Prophets.  Since I am asking my catechists and my students to pray with the Gospels and reflect with the journals each week, it seemed only fair that I do the same.

I was really proud of the fact that I read the Gospel and worked on the journal several days in advance.  I was prepared for the Sunday liturgy by reflecting in advance, right?

Each week the journal asks the students (and therefore, me) to make some sort of commitment to help us live as People of Faith, following the example of those in our Gospels.  The reflection for Week 1 asked me to list four things I would do to show that I am a "Person of Faith" and to prepare for Jesus' coming.  My four responses were:

• Read "The Little Blue Book" daily
• Write a Christmas card each day to someone I've been meaning to contact - no generic cards to people I see all of the time.
• Write a weekly online reflection
• Go to confession once during Advent

So Advent, Day 1, I was up too late the night before.  That Day 1, I slept in, zipped over to a Christmas family reunion, and then zipped to work (in time for 5:00 PM Mass, since I didn't get up in time for morning Mass).  After work, I came home and wrote a post for www.puckettspond.com, where I am the Editor.  By the time I finished, it had reached the wee hours of Monday morning.

Drat.  I'd already messed up my Advent commitment, and it was just barely Day 2, so early it doesn't even count as Day 2.

I could barely keep my eyes open, so I wasn't going to write a card.  I wanted to do my reflection a few days in advance, like the previous Thursday.  But, what was one more day late going to hurt? There will be opportunity for confession, and anyway, there are quite a few things I don't want to face just yet, so I put that off.  At minimum, I could read the Little Blue Book before I went to bed.

Since it was Advent Day 1, the LBB suggested making an Advent commitment.  Easy!  Not only had I made a commitment, I'd already made four of them!  However, as I kept going through the entry, my heart sank.  Right there, in the entry was the "suggestion" that the reader (me) write a Christmas card to someone I was not on good terms with.

Ah, crap.

That LBB reflection, added to a few other recent things, was clearly an invitation by the Holy Spirit  (read:  really strong suggestion) to reach out to a small group of people with whom I used to be close friends.  I had been trying to figure out how to talk with these friends, and I hadn't been able to do it.  In fact, I'd given up.  I'd been so hurt that I decided it was easier to push them away all the time, even when they were in a place where they accepted me.  It was better for me to give up the good times in order to prevent the bad.

But the HS was basically telling me I HAD to write these cards.  Of course, I had free will in the matter.  It was just one of those moments where it was clear that the HS was really telling me that was the best idea.

Great.

It's not fair for me or for these friends to put any other details here, especially because we have never talked about any of this.  Today was the first day they could have received my Christmas cards.  I don't know yet if they did.  My hope is that they will accept the invitation to peace, whether our friendship continues or not.  I try not to care, but I do, so very much.  And I struggle with frustration with the Holy Spirit for urging me to put myself out there once again.  Despite all my failings (and they are SO very many), I try so hard to make my friends and family happy.  I hate that I fail and I hate that I'm not good enough most of the time, and I hate that I have felt so hurt and betrayed, and that I haven't had the courage to stand up and stop it before it became this disjointed.

And so I return to Sunday Week 1's Gospel, which I originally assumed would be the focus of this reflection.  I should know better than to make assumptions when it comes to the Holy Spirit.  In the Week 1 Gospel, the world is experiencing extreme tribulations, scary enough that people die of fright.  And yet, the Gospel urges us to vigilance and to persevere through the extreme difficulty.  There are some truly bad situations so many real people experience in our world - natural disasters, political wars, and abject poverty.  At the same time, those of us who are blessed with relative security most of the time still experience difficulties that seem beyond our control.  I truly believe the LBB, and even this Gospel, was meant to make me think of the friends I mentioned above.  I believe that they deserved a contact, whether I gain peace or whether I am spurned.

Truly, this is such a difficult Gospel.  What does one say?  For me, I have a feeling that my idea of a quiet, small introduction to the season was torpedoed early on; how do I keep the focus?  How do I handle my former friends completely pushing away?  How do I handle it if they try to make an effort?

Check me out on Puckett's Pond!



If you've enjoyed my posts on "Paula's Pitch", I hope you'll check out www.puckettspond.com, where I have recently joined the team as a staff writer.  That will be my primary blog about all things Minnesota Twins.  However, I may occasionally add a post on some of my other favorite topics here at Paula's Pitch.  I hope you'll follow me on both places.

If you like what you read at Puckett's Pond, I hope you'll share it on Twitter, like it on Facebook, +1 on Google+, pin it on Pinterest, and tell everyone you know about it!!  Puckett's Pond is a www.fansided.com blog.  If you like sports, you'll find what you're looking for at FanSided.

 

 



They say hitting is contagious

When the Twins' 2012 season began, homer that I am, I wistfully hoped for (okay, fully expected) a team that would be in contention this season.  I mean, I didn't really expect the playoffs.  I just secretly hoped they'd prove everybody wrong.

But after the shock of the opening series (because who expected this year from Baltimore?) and the disappointment of the home opener loss (the first home opener I've ever attended - I was not a happy camper), the Minnesota baseball fan's 2012 mantra became "All we ask is that you make it entertaining!"

The Twins' first successful sweep was in May against the Tigers, and the season was starting to plane out.  As the games rolled on, answers were beginning to form for some of the biggest questions of spring training, and those answers were looking good.  Joe Mauer had played almost every game.  Justin Morneau was successfully making a case for more and more playing time.  Ryan Doumit, Josh Willingham, and Jamey Carroll were showing themselves to be shrewd investments.  The bullpen was faring better than expected, and Diamond (who I've had a soft spot for since I attended his debut in 2011) was beginning to inspire a succession of terrible puns in headlines about pitching "a gem" of a game.  The other starting pitchers seemed to be the downfall that would keep the Twins from turning the season around, but there were more than enough good things happening to "make it entertaining."

From June 1-August 7, the Twins were playing better than .500 baseball, .517 to be exact, going 31 and 29.  So the two weeks worth of games since then have come as a shock to the system, with the boys going 2-11 in that span, a dismal .154.

Definitely not "entertaining."

Wednesday's game was painful to see progress in little dots and tiny figures on GameCast Mini.  Day games like these make me happy I work in a building that AM radio cannot penetrate.  In the last 13 games, the Twins have had only one loss that was decided by one run, while they've had seven games in that time frame where they lost by four or more runs.  And while a normal loss finds many a fan lamenting the men the Twins left on base, it was worse on Tuesday when they didn't leave a single man on base.  It felt like they walked away with nary a whimper.

When the boys hit a skid like this, it's easy for the fans, and probably far easier for the team, to focus on the negatives and to begin having flashbacks of 2011.  But while there were only two wins in the last two weeks, those wins were decisive: 9-3 vs. the Tigers, and 7-2 vs. the As.

I couldn't possibly count the number of times I heard Twins players, coaches, or reporters say "hitting is contagious" during the first month of the season.  It proved to be true for the 61 game stretch from June into August, a time when it was easy to see that the boys still had some fight left in them.

We know the Twins aren't going to make the playoffs.  We know they won't see .500 for the second year in a row.  But as of the wee hours of August 23, the Twins have still got the #4 (Mauer) and #6 (Ben Revere) hitters in the AL.  And there are still the Twins' bombers.  It may have been over a week since Willingham hit career high home run #30, and La Velle E. Neal III wrote on Wednesday that Trevor Plouffe is 2-for-39 without at home run in 92 plate appearances.  (Activated from the DL on August 13, it would have been nice to see Plouffe return to form before nine games passed.  But it took until about June 1 for his bat to heat up this season, and heat up it did.)

But, I don't think this slump will last forever.  In fact, the boys may still be reeling from Nishioka's recent stint in the Big Leagues.

But come next Wednesday (August 29) when I'll be at Target Field, I fully expect to see a recovered Plouffe and another home run or two from Willingham.

And you know, they say hitting is contagious.  Maybe they'll make it entertaining!

Image from: http://www.twincities.com/twins/ci_20985192/no-all-star-spot-willingham-or-diamond

A White Sox Mole in the Twins Front Office?



I'm convinced the White Sox have a member of the Twins front office on their payroll.  It's the only explanation for the Twins' decision to recall Tsuyoshi Nishioka.  As a starter.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think the White Sox are worried that the Twins will overtake the division; the Twins record is virtually impossible to overcome, and the White Sox and their mole are certainly laughing themselves all the way to 2012 playoffs.  I'm pretty sure that the White Sox have a mole in place for the express purpose of extinguishing any glimmer of hope Twins players, coaching staff, or fans might have of the future success of any rebuilding effort.

Post-All Star Break, the stars aligned for the Twins.  Their pitching, their offense, and their defense began to ignite, and the best games for each of those areas started to coincide.  They've been playing better than .500 baseball since the break, and no MLB team has scored more runs in that time.  The boys have been playing like the games mattered, like there was meaning to the outcome.  They've cared and they've fought.  They way they were playing, a fan might be tempted into thinking #itshappening.  What a contrast to 2011!  Statistically, they're 2012 record is worse than last year.  I had to triple-check my California Math, but it tells me that after 111 games this year, Minnesota's record is 49-62 and last year, it was 51-60.

Despite having a worse record in 2012 than they did at the same point in the Lost Season of 2011, the talk of the town turned from how painfully awful the Twins are (and who they need to dump before the deadline) to nuanced conversations about moving up the ladder in the Central Division, batting titles, and the delicate balance between signing and releasing players that is needed to turn the Twins around next season.  If not yet playoff contenders in 2013, the expectation was that the Twins would make significant progress.

And then, the Twins recalled Tsuyoshi Nishioka.

I should have known something was amiss when the Twins first recalled Danny Valencia.  It was my fervent wish that he'd never again see an MLB uniform as a Twin.  Unfortunately, the Twins recalled him just in time for me to observe him live at the July 28 Twins game vs. Cleveland.  I cannot quantify my gratitude to the Boston Red Sox for claiming Danny V on waivers; that they promptly sent him to AAA made the pronouncement even sweeter.

Danny V, well, he can play when he feels like it.  Tsuyoshi Nishioka, on the other hand, that poor player has simply become a laughing stock in MLB.  Don't get me wrong, I completely agree with Phil Mackey that Nishioka isn't to blame for the spectacle we've all watched in horrified fascination over the last three games.  I have yet to find video of Nishi's first-play error on Monday, but his reaction today when he lost a pop-up in the sun is a good secondary example of the joke that he is on an MLB field.

Duensing did not have a brilliant start on August 8 by any stretch of the imagination.  But the game had a completely different vibe than some recent games when the starters pitched okay (or even poorly), but the defense made incredible plays and the offense kept the Twins in the game.  Today felt like the end of 2011, as if the boys said, "Why bother trying when we're only going to lose?"

I imagine it's difficult for a player not to lose hope when you're praying the ball won't be hit to the middle infielder, and when you know he's an automatic out when he's in the batter's box.  And it's almost impossible not to question the front office when that middle infielder has done nothing in AAA to warrant another look in the majors and has no trade value.  At all.  As a fan, I find the move perplexing at best, and if I were a player, I'd start to wonder if the move wasn't sabotage from the front office.

If Gardenhire's statement that "It's not just three days for Nishi" is true, I won't in good conscience be able to blame the Twins players if they reach the dreaded 100 loss mark.  With this latest call-up, I think they have every right to believe the organization doesn't see any hope in them and may even be trying to sabotage them.  (And Gardy is probably justified in being the most frustrated man in the clubhouse.)

If I cling to the notion that the Twins organization actually wants the team to win, I can only conclude that the White Sox have planted a mole to prevent the Twins from rebuilding anytime in the next decade.  The only other alternative is to believe that Terry Ryan and the front office team actually thought Nishi could contribute.  And management that deluded would tank the team for the next decade, a prospect I'm not ready to believe.

I guess the Nishi call-up is payback for even thinking this week about buying one of these t-shirts:



Now that this is old news...

This post has been one of those good intentions for a week.  I am finally writing it after the gnashing of teeth & cries of jubilation have died down, reaction depending on one's assessment of the trade.


After spending last Friday evening (7/28/12) with some friends at the third annual "Paula's Pals" game at my favorite place (Target Field), I rejoiced heartily when I received the news that FRANCISCO LIRIANO WAS TRADED.  The only thing that kept me from doing a Happy Dance was the fact that I was driving.  I really didn't care that (Interim) GM Terry Ryan had seen fit to send former White Sox players Pedro Hernandez (LHP) and Eduardo Escobar (INF) directly to AAA.  The Frankie Era was over!

In the last week, the trade has been dissected by the lovers and the haters, who have very divergent opinions on the move.  The chief complaint of the critics is that the Twins traded Frankie to a division rival for a discounted price.


While I would have loved to have seen Frankie go outside the division, say, to the Braves, who apparently had interest in him, and for more than the Twins got back in this trade, let's face it; Francisco Liriano of 2006 is a thing of the past.


I've been keeping up with the Liriano trade rumors and trade discussions all season, as I looked for anything that could justify my hope that he'd be in another uniform before season's end.  I started the season by hoping his good showing in spring training would lead to teams sniffing around earlier rather than later.


Throughout the season, nothing in the trade discussions and rumors surprised me more than what many of the Minnesota media and fans thought the Twins should get for Frankie.  It seemed that they thought no one else could see what the Twins organization and Twins fans saw.  It was like a two-year-old covering her eyes and thinking that means no one can see her.


I established my "Liriano Rule"* early in the 2011 season, and I haven't looked back.  While I laud him for the 2011 No-No, his intermittent brilliance, and his nice games of late, I'll never trust him again.  And this trade confirms that the majority of the league needs to see more than just a handful of post-bullpen-demotion games to hold on to any hope that the flailing hurler will return to half of his 2006 form.


(Interim) GM Terry Ryan was very clear that the Twins took the best offer they received for Liriano, and I have no reason not to believe him.  With teams unable to predict whether Frankie will be "effectively wild" or meltdown before the third out, there was absolutely no incentive for a team to take a risk on him.  I also think this shows that teams respect Twins' pitching coach Rick Anderson, who blamed Liriano for much of his gray hair.  Few teams thought their pitching coach could do what Anderson couldn't.


Last Friday, I got the good news, and sent a text to my parents.  Dad summed it up best in his reply:  "I would have taken a hot dog and coke for francisco"


----


*Paula's Lirano Rule: If he gives up a hit, think about pulling him.  If he gives up a run, for the love of all that is good, PULL HIM!!  There's no stopping the train wreck.


picture reference: http://www.twincities.com/twins/ci_21199506/shooter-now-ex-minnesota-twins-francisco-liriano-jesse?source=rss

Paula’s Five Best Tips for a “Cooking-for-One” Newbie

So it turns out that I’m all talk and no substance when it comes to my “Twins Blog”.  I crumbled under the pressure (I put on myself) to be a Twins expert outside my own little world of pretend, where I have Supreme Knowledge of All Things Twins.  In crashing down to earth, I have not abandoned the idea of blogging!  I’ve just taken a hiatus of about 10 months or so to gather courage once again…

…and as you can see from my updated “Paula’s Pitch” description, I’ve decided to tell the world about, well, whatever comes to mind!

I’ve been thinking a lot about “Cooking for One” as a way to save money and to eat healthier.  And of course, simply because I love to cook.  With that in mind, and the encouragement of several friends, here is the inaugural post of my (re)new(ed) blog.  This post is a revised response to a friend’s request to the Google world, which was an appeal for tips about starting to cook for one’s self with minimal planning.  Without further ado...

How can I get started cooking for myself...especially if planning scares me???

A little planning is inevitable if you want to avoid the drive-thru and cook for yourself, but it can be kept to a minimum if you’re willing to adopt a few basic habits.  There are five tips I would give to those who want to begin cooking for themselves. These are all things that can give you easy options and remove the pressure to make a gourmet meal every night.  It’s also important to try to pick one or two of these tips to help kick-start you.  Don’t try to adopt them all overnight!  As you get comfortable, you can add a new habit to your routine.

Paula’s Five Best Tips for a “Cooking-for-One” Newbie:

1) Keep a “standard” stock of canned/dry goods and frozen foods on hand to help avoid giving in to the drive-thru temptation.  An easy plan is to make sure you always have pasta, red sauce, canned black beans, rice, pre-cooked frozen chicken strips, and a frozen veggie on hand. The great thing is a lot of these things mix-n-match surprisingly well, so limited ingredients create options. Sometimes, you might go a long time before breaking into them, but they’re always there to prevent an excuse for that drive-thru drive-by.  Pick your favorites, so you’ll like them and want to eat what’s on hand.

2) Keep fresh fruits and veggies on hand and invest time once or twice a week in "prepping" them; or invest the money in buying them already prepped.  It also helps to keep it pretty simple, choosing what you like and what you can eat before it spoils.  For example, you might keep apples in the fridge, lettuce, a salad "throw in" veggie, and onions.  (Onions are one of my favorite ingredients.)

3) Keep a grocery list & a pen in a standard and accessible place, and write items down when they get low. Then, without having to plan what you will eat for the next month, week, or even for a day, you’ll find you have your favorite standbys on hand.  It makes it harder to justify a stop at the drive-thru.  Or, better yet, download a grocery list app and enjoy the ease and convenience of a paperless list.

4) Spend some time each week cooking one "big" dish – a favorite or a new recipe that interests you – and package the leftovers in single servings. Most things can freeze, so half or two-thirds of the portioned containers in the freezer for the future.  For a lunch or dinner on the fly, pop it in the microwave (probably on defrost first), and you have your own “TV Dinner” – no planning required.  This can be a great way to break up the monotony of eating boxed spaghetti with jarred sauce one more time.

5) It helps to have spices, condiments, and shredded cheese on hand. These can add pizzazz to a simple dish or change a third-day-in-a-row leftover into a new dish.